i t a l y



Amy Ball

Exit Through the Extensive Litigation Process


A commonwealth Anglophile’s rumination on the current European political climate

On Brexit

The day following Brexit was a particularly beautiful one in regards to the weather in Frankfurt am Main. I was enjoying the temperate city air and parched so I treated myself to a weißweinschörle at a chic cafe near Münchenerstraße. I paid my drink and departed, walking east toward Willy Brandt Platz. The combination of sun, wind, and fine white wine left me feeling zen. As I approached the massive sculpture of the Euro sign which glows at night I noticed a small gathering of well dressed business types below it. On any other day I would have continued walking past, but on this day, perhaps due to the political climate, or perhaps due to the three to four fingers of white wine which I had just recently consumed, I veered left and approached the gathering. As I grew closer I could see that the small gathering of about five to ten official looking people surrounded by an additional five to ten somewhat less official looking onlookers, was a press conference of sorts. The event was so small I assumed it could only be a groundbreaking for a new shop, NGO, or small tower. There was an extremely small sized man standing at a podium directly underneath the massive Euro sculpture. The small man, speaking in a surprisingly impassioned manner, seemed to introduce, one-by-one, three figures standing shoulder to shoulder each of whom must have been important investors of whatever project this event was for. As they were introduced, each figure raised a hand and nod toward the strangely small crowd.
My winesmogged-heatstroked vision finally came into focus upon arriving in the small crowd and I watched as one of the three figures walked toward the podium centred under the massive euro. As she began to speak, to my surprise, I realised that her identity was in fact that of German Chancellor Angela Merkel. She was speaking slowly, and she paused at the end of some sentences and smiled or made a novelty anxious grimace face to which the German crowd who understood her German words (I could not), laughed briefly and politely. I panned left and realised that of one the two remaining figures next to whom she had stood was French President François Holland. He looked extremely angry in the way one can’t hide rage no matter how hard they try. The third figure, I assume an Italian leader or a Dutch looked as confused with the situation as I imagine I did.
I was surprised that there was such a small audience at such a high profile press conference; I wondered what she was saying. She then paused and looked to the tiny man who had introduced her and nodded. He, with the leaders’ body guards dragged a large wooden staircase under the massive Euro sculpture. Angela climbed it carefully and awkwardly, as it had no railings and was quite high, she looked nervous. At around two thirds of the way up she looked down at the small man who then  passed to her a novelty oversized wooden sledgehammer. She looked visibly strained as she crouched down and reached to grasp it. She stood back up and forced a smile as she stepped slowly toward the top of the probably two and a half meter staircase. Upon finally completing her ascent, she adjusted her grip on the sledgehammer and smiled down at the audience. A look of concentrated determination came over her face as she looked straight up at the Euro sign above her; in one fluid motion her face contorted and she swung the massive sledgehammer overhead driving it directly into the side of one of the 12 stars of the sculpture. The star snapped off and fell to the floor with a hollow thud. Angela then smiled and looked out into the audience of around 20, who all gave her a long and polite golf clap. She nodded several times and prepared to descend the massive staircase saying “Danke schön. Viel spaß.”










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